For foreigners considering a non-religious funeral in Saitama Shintoshin: How to communicate that you do not wish to have Buddhist scriptures or a posthumous Buddhist name.

When saying goodbye to a loved one, some people wish to "avoid religious rituals and instead create a more intimate, family-like atmosphere." For foreigners preparing for a funeral in Japan for the first time, terms like sutras, monks, and posthumous names can be unfamiliar, and they may worry whether it would be rude to say they do not wish for such rituals.

Choosing a non-religious funeral is a natural choice that respects the wishes of the deceased and their family. What's important is not just what you choose not to do, but also how you want to say goodbye. If you are considering a family funeral or cremation around Saitama Shintoshin, sharing your wishes early on will make it easier to organize what needs to be confirmed.

First, let's put into words what you hope for, given that you are non-religious.

Even when people say they are "non-religious," the desired form of their funeral varies from family to family. For some, it means not performing chanting or burning incense, while for others, it means not inviting any religious figures and focusing on offering flowers, observing a moment of silence, and sharing memories. Conversely, some people do not wish for religious rituals to be performed by religious figures, but still want time to pray quietly or gather around a photograph of the deceased.

When seeking advice, instead of simply saying "I'd like to avoid religious matters," try using a short sentence like the following to reduce misunderstandings. If you're not confident in your Japanese, writing down the sentence beforehand can also be helpful.

• We do not want religious figures invited, and we do not wish to have Buddhist scriptures recited.
• I do not wish to receive a posthumous Buddhist name.
• I would like to say goodbye quietly with just my family.
• I would prefer to offer flowers or observe a moment of silence rather than burn incense.
• I would like to take some time to talk about memories of the deceased.
• We want the ceremony to proceed in a way that respects the wishes of the deceased and their family, rather than adhering to the customs of any particular religion.

The term "religion" encompasses a wide range of backgrounds. We cannot determine someone's beliefs or customs solely based on their nationality or region of origin. It is important to carefully consider each aspect, including the deceased's wishes, whether they left a will, the feelings of their family, and what is important to them.

Points to confirm when stating that you do not wish to receive Buddhist scriptures or a posthumous Buddhist name.

Buddhist sutras are generally chanted by monks during Buddhist rituals. A posthumous Buddhist name (kaimyo) is a name bestowed upon the deceased according to certain Buddhist practices. However, the treatment of such names can vary depending on the sect, the relationship with the temple, and the rules of the cemetery. Therefore, if you do not wish to receive a posthumous Buddhist name, it is advisable to confirm the procedures not only on the day of the ritual but also for subsequent arrangements related to the interment and cemetery.

First, confirm the relationship with the family temple and cemetery.

If the deceased or their family had a temple they regularly associated with, known as a family temple, it may be necessary to consult with them before the funeral. Also, even if a burial place has already been decided, you should check with the cemetery or burial ground administrator about your preference for a non-religious funeral and the necessary procedures. If you are unsure, asking the funeral home, "Are there any points I should check in advance regarding the relationship with the temple or cemetery?" will help you organize the next points to check.

Please specify the items you do not wish to have and the times you wish to have them.

After stating "We don't need Buddhist scriptures," consider what you would like to do instead to help everyone share a common vision for the ceremony. For example, you could observe a moment of silence in front of a photo of the deceased, have attendees lay flowers, play soft music, or have family members read letters. However, the content that can be done at the venue, the handling of music and photos, whether outside items are allowed, and any constraints on the proceedings will vary depending on the location. Don't assume your wishes are obvious; check what is possible beforehand.

Customize the family funeral and cremation process to suit your needs.

A family funeral is generally a funeral service where the attendees are mainly relatives and close friends. However, there are no fixed rules regarding who should attend or what the service should entail. When considering a non-religious family funeral, it's a good idea for the family to discuss who to contact, how much time to allocate, and what kind of farewells to have before and after cremation.

Even when gathering from Omiya Ward, Chuo Ward, or Urawa Ward in Saitama City to the Saitama Shintoshin area, the date and location will be considered taking into account the burden of travel and the circumstances of the attendees. Saitama City Hikari Kaikan is a funeral facility, and cremation takes place at Urawa Crematorium or Omiya Seien. Since the conditions of use, reservation status, and what can be done at each venue differ, it is necessary to check with each facility for specific details.

Even if you prefer a cremation-only farewell, it's important to consider how your family wants to spend their time saying goodbye. There are many ways to remember the deceased, even in a short time, such as offering flowers, saying words, or observing a moment of silence. Conversely, if there are many attendees, you should discuss how to manage the event, including how to guide them and the venue's usage requirements, to ensure a smooth and manageable process.

Notes that are helpful to prepare before a consultation

In times of grief, it's not easy to explain everything you need to know on the spot. Having a bulleted list of notes can make it easier to share your wishes with family members. If you need interpretation or translation, you should check in advance whether they can accommodate your needs and how they can do so. When consulting with Seikatsu Funeral Service Center, it's also helpful to write down your wishes to the best of your ability.

1. Name of the deceased and the family member responsible for contacting them.
2. Are you in a hurry to arrange the funeral, or do you have a preferred date?
3. Do you wish to have a religious leader, scriptures, or a posthumous Buddhist name?
4. Do you want a private family funeral, or are there any people you would like to invite to attend?
5. You can choose your preferred way to say goodbye, such as laying flowers, a moment of silence, taking photos, listening to music, or writing letters.
6. Plans for family temples, cemeteries, and burial sites, as well as any relevant parties that need to be contacted.
7. Concerns regarding communication in Japanese, and language support you would like to know.

It's perfectly fine if not everything is decided yet. A good starting point is to be frank and say things like, "I don't know what to decide," or "I want to avoid religious expressions." If you prefer to receive information by email, or if you're uncomfortable communicating in Japanese over the phone, be sure to check the available methods beforehand.

To focus on the values of the deceased and their family

A non-religious funeral is not about rejecting religion, but rather a way to choose the farewell that the deceased and their family desire. When there are differing opinions among relatives, it can be helpful to share what is important to them in saying goodbye and to take the time to communicate in language that everyone can understand.

When preparing for a funeral in Saitama Shintoshin, there are many things to confirm, such as the facility, the cremation schedule, and the circumstances of the attendees. However, there is no need to hesitate or be vague about your desire not to have Buddhist scriptures or a posthumous Buddhist name recited. Clearly stating the rituals you do not wish to have performed and instead communicating the time you would like to spend together will make it easier to prepare to express your feelings for the deceased in a meaningful way. At Seikatsu Funeral Service Center, we value working with families to organize the matters that need to be confirmed in advance, based on their own words.