How to arrange a funeral for a family involved in an international marriage in Saitama City | How to reconcile the wishes of different religions and cultures

For families involved in international marriages, saying goodbye to a loved one can involve the different religions, cultures, languages, and family beliefs of both Japan and the other country. They may find themselves wondering, "Which customs should take precedence?" or "How should I explain this to relatives who are hesitant about cremation?"

When planning a funeral in Saitama City, it's important not to rush into trying to conform to a single format. The key is to focus on the deceased's wishes, articulate what is most important to the family, and then explore ways to fulfill those wishes one step at a time. Here, we offer some guidance to help families with diverse backgrounds calmly consolidate their wishes.

First, we need to distinguish between what made the deceased unique and what they wouldn't compromise on.

You don't need to decide on the entire form of the ceremony from the very beginning of the discussion. First, try writing down the wishes the deceased expressed during their lifetime, the things they valued religiously or culturally, and the feelings you, as a family, want to convey in this farewell.

• The way the deceased wanted to be seen off, and things they wanted to avoid.
• Elements we want to cherish include prayer, silence, music, and flowers.
• Religious customs and considerations for participation that should be confirmed in advance.
• Messages to send to relatives living overseas or far away
• Understanding the procedures and cremation process required in Japan

At this stage, separating "things you definitely want to do" from "things you'd like to incorporate if possible" will make it easier to communicate your wishes to those you consult. Rather than comparing differences in customs in terms of superiority or inferiority, sharing the meaning that each custom holds for the deceased and their family will lead to a peaceful agreement.

To seamlessly combine religious rituals with Japanese funeral practices.

Funerals can range from those that emphasize religious rituals to those that focus on farewells rather than adhering to specific religious forms. If family members have differing beliefs or cultural backgrounds, it's reassuring to clarify as specifically as possible who will be responsible for which rituals and how they would like attendees to spend the time.

For example, you could consider setting aside time for prayer, preparing tributes to the deceased in multiple languages, and informing relatives unfamiliar with religious customs in advance. However, religious customs vary depending on the denomination, region, and individual beliefs. If necessary, consult with the relevant religious leaders or religious community and coordinate with the venue and proceedings accordingly.

In Japan, cremation is a common funeral practice. However, some relatives from overseas may be unfamiliar with cremation, or may feel confused due to cultural or religious reasons. In such cases, rather than rushing a decision, it is important to clearly explain the customs in Japan and the flow of events on the day, and to take the time to address any anxieties or questions. Since the details of cremation arrangements vary depending on the circumstances, please consult with a funeral home or other relevant parties as early as possible.

We will assume that the same word can have different meanings.

Expressions like "I want to give them a simple send-off" or "I want to cherish my relatives" can have different meanings depending on the family's background. Let's clarify specifically whether "simplicity" refers to a small number of attendees, refraining from formal ceremonies, or keeping decorations to a minimum.

When opinions differ, it's helpful to listen to why that wish is important rather than jumping to a conclusion. Understanding the background—whether it's respect for faith, memories of the deceased, or consideration for relatives who live far away—makes it easier to consider the order and timing of incorporating both sides' wishes.

Because it's a family funeral, we carefully decide how people will attend.

A family funeral is a funeral service primarily attended by close family and friends. In cases of international marriage, it's not uncommon for families to have relatives and friends both domestically and internationally. When deciding who will attend, don't just consider the number of attendees; also think about their relationship to the deceased and the need for a calm and peaceful environment for the family on the day.

If some people are unable to travel to Japan, discussions will also cover when to announce the death, who to inform about the funeral date and time, and whether to arrange a separate farewell gathering at a later date. Even if it's difficult for everyone to participate in the same way, you can consider methods that suit the family, such as sharing photos and memories, or holding a separate time for prayer at a later date. The scope of disclosure and sharing should be decided carefully, taking into account the deceased's privacy and the wishes of the family.

The announcement will separate what has been decided from what is still pending.

When contacting relatives overseas, it can be difficult to share information until all the details are gathered. However, in times when urgent decisions need to be made, one approach is to first briefly inform them of the death and that arrangements are currently being made. Clearly stating that the date, time, and method of attendance are yet to be determined, and promising to inform them again once these details are finalized, will help the recipient understand the situation.

When discussing matters with family members who live in different time zones, it's important to decide on specific times for communication beforehand and to avoid making too many important decisions at once. The depth of grief and the speed of response vary from person to person. Keep in mind that some people may need time to wait for a response, and confirm and finalize the deadlines for the process with the funeral home.

Differences in terminology are resolved through repeated short confirmations.

In times of grief, even everyday conversations can easily become misinterpreted. Avoiding jargon and keeping things concise and to the point can help reduce the burden caused by differences in language.

1. The family will decide who will make the final decision.
2. Please organize your religious and cultural preferences, along with your priorities.
3. We will review the date, time, venue, scope of attendees, and the cremation process separately.
4. We will distinguish between decisions that have been made and those that are still undecided and share them accordingly.

If you need assistance with interpretation or translation, it's helpful to inform them as early as possible about the situations and languages you require. For important explanations, don't assume you understand them after hearing them just once; it's reassuring to have them confirmed in writing or elsewhere.

Things to tell me during the consultation

When consulting with Seikatsu Funeral Service Center regarding funeral arrangements, there is no need to view the fact that you are a family of international marriage as a special issue. However, please feel free to share any wishes you have regarding the way you wish to say goodbye, such as considerations for religion and culture, language support, and plans for relatives to visit Japan. Sharing your wishes early will make it easier for us to organize what we can do and what needs to be confirmed in advance.

Whether you're coming from Saitama City, Ageo City, Kawagoe City, or other neighboring areas, our starting point is to carefully organize the circumstances of the deceased and their family. If you have any concerns about the process from transportation and placement of the body to the day of the funeral, let's clarify each point one by one.

Rather than trying to unify different cultures, it's important to respect the values that each side has cherished and to find a way to say goodbye that is true to the deceased.

When things are sudden and difficult to decide, just tell us what is important to you first. Even if the details of the arrangements haven't been decided, we can start with your family's wishes and proceed with the necessary preparations step by step.